Standup Comedy Tips from Judy Carter

Writer’s Block


“I have a whole day to write” and other fantasies. I have been avoiding writing lately.I have been trying to find time to work on a new book and I’ve been putting it off forever. There is so much on my calendar every day, so I cleared Saturday of everything. A whole day to write! This made me feel better for the rest of the week.I’m working in the office every day this week, but that’s OK, because on Saturday I’ve got the WHOLE DAY! Saturday rolls around.I usually exercise in the morning, but not today...today is my writing day.I’m going to focus. Here is what the day looked like:

9am:In bed, I reach over to my laptop.I open MS WORD and I write a sentence. Hmmm… why is my computer writing in size 10 font? I want it to write by default in a size 12 font. I don’t know how to do this, so I have to go to the help menu and figure it out. I then realize that not only can I create a template to adjust the font, but also styles, formats, and even the menus. I added “Save All” to the FILE menu, and word count to the TOOLS menu. I activate it and see that I have written 12 words.

10am:I don’t like that in this one sentence I’ve written the word “comedy” twice. I wonder if there is a better word than that.I go to the Thesaurus that comes with MS Word and find it lacking.I’m an author.I need a better Thesaurus.I open up Internet Explorer and go to www.downloads.com looking for a better one.I find one and download it.Then I realize that I already downloaded a Thesaurus.I can’t find it.I realize that I need a better way to organize my “Favorites.” So I download another file that guarantees to organize my favorites.I open it and start creating folders and topics to organize my favorites.

11am:I wonder if I have enough money in the bank to afford these new software programs I’m buying. Well, I’ll have enough money when I finish this book, but I better see how my stocks are doing. I go on to Schwab.com and start reading the news on these shitty stocks I own. Three stocks have taken a 20% dive. This is not good. I better move money from stocks to invest in a CD that’s more conservative.

Noon:Wow, I’m hungry. There’s nothing in the refrigerator to eat. I get in the car and drive to the market.I take my computer with me, because I realize that I can’t write at home.I’ll write at a restaurant.I’m at the restaurant, turn on the computer, but I realize that I forgot to charge up the batteries. I could write by hand, but I’ve long forgotten how to do that.

2pm:Back home I realize that I forgot to feed the fish. I get their yummy frozen bloodworms out of a little freezer and realize that they are stuck because the freezer needs to be defrosted.

3pm:After defrosting the freezer, I get my computer charger which is under a huge stack of unopened mail. I better go through it. In the mail, I see my Netflix have arrived.

7pm:I’ve watch “History of Violence” and “Dead Ringers.” Both good.I would turn on my computer, but it’s time to feed the animals and walk the dog.Walking the dog, I run into my friend who wants to come over and watch my third Netflix movie with me. I tell her I need to write, but she’s going to bring over dinner -- and I’m hungry again!

10pm: I’m back in bed again with the computer on my lap.It’s charged up.I open my one sentence and delete it. It’s stupid.According to word count I have 0 words. I think, “Well, it’s not like anyone is really waiting for this book. There’s tomorrow -- and the next day and the day after that.I have plenty of time to write.”

If this sounds like you, maybe I can help.I found a way to break through. Stay tuned to next blog...